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  • Writer's picture#pelvicroar

Public Humiliation

#pelvicroar's note: this is a letter, written by the individual concerned, to a theatre where the

individual was publicly humiliated a few days ago. She had to exit during a performance to access the toilet, due to bladder and bowel issues. She was heckled and highlighted by the actors on stage (as were some other audience members earlier) and she has been brave and honest in deciding to tackle this rather than hide away…

All identifiable details have been removed whilst the complaint is ongoing..

Pelvicroar offer her our full support! Please join us and share her story as far as possible…

Firstly may I say, I am very disappointed to be having to find you online and make contact in this way as I am aware you have been given my contact details by staff at the theatre. I am the person who was ridiculed and humiliated on Friday night by you. What you thought was acceptable was totally unacceptable - actually verging on illegal. I have a medical problem. A 'hidden disability' which means that sometimes I have to visit the bathroom at short notice. Believe me I tried to delay having to get up from my seat because I'd witnessed your attitude and reaction a little earlier when three other people also got up.... Possibly for a similar reason. Your comment "she thinks that's ok, does she" was heard by all when the first lady returned to her seat. Knowing what she may have been experiencing, I was appalled at your comments, and I therefore tried my absolute best to ‘hang on’ - but it was not possible. I did however, wait for a gap between songs, and tried to find the least intrusive way to exit the theatre, but this wasn’t good enough for your act. Commenting publicly on my leaving and making jokes, bringing further attention to my plight, encouraging the entire audience to laugh at my experience was extremely humiliating. I’m not sure you’re even aware of the damage you could have caused.

I’d like to ask would you have acted the same way if I’d been in a wheelchair? Do I need to advertise my misfortune in order to be afforded a little respect?

You have been given my business card, and so you know my profession. As a result of my personal

experience, I have trained as a specialist in pelvic dysfunction, and know that it affects up to 1 in 2

people at some point in their lives. Cancer patients, Crohn’es disease, post-partum mothers, chronic

respiratory disease patients, older people, but also young people, who may not outwardly show any signs that they have a debilitating condition which causes distress, discomfort, pain and suffering.

Actually, absolutely anyone could have a pelvic dysfunction disorder, and unless they print it on their t-shirt, no one else would know.

That is why it is so important that people like you, who are in the position you are, have

understanding and empathy; a mere glimpse or realisation that, if someone does get up in the

middle of your show, it’s not necessarily about you or your performance, and your ego needs to take a step backwards and realise that. Usually, if someone is going to leave a show they have paid good money to see, it’s going to be reluctantly, there is most likely a very significant reason, and you have no right to heckle them.

In the lack of any form of contact from you, or even your agent, after receiving my complaint on

Friday night, I have undertaken to do some research on your behalf, and copy here below two links

that may go someway to educating you on the current laws regarding equality and disability


I would anticipate, in light of this, a hasty response to my email, which may prevent me taking this

further. In which case, I look forward to receiving such response by return.

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